Hi! James and Elizabeth again from right here in Bonners Ferry and we are writing to all the young people out there who are mystified and confused by the opposite gender.By Elizabeth Kate
It can be an exhilarating feeling to realize that a guy is interested in you. But how does this realization come about? How do you know when a man has taken notice of you?
Men are confusing yet sometimes very straightforward creatures. They tend to be easier to read than most women, but emotions come easier to women than they do to most men. It seems that men can be clearer communicators because they aren’t as emotional. But on the flip side, because they aren’t as emotional, they also have a tendency to under communicate.
With that in mind, ladies, what are some tell-tale signs that indicate a male friend might have the
hots for you? And, guys, what are some actions you can take to subtly convey your interest in a female friend?
The bottom line is does he/are you showing interest? This seems basic and obvious enough, but that is where all the specific actions are going to stem from. Men enjoy their male friends a lot. And for the most part, they do tend to stick with them. So, when a man fancies a woman, it tends to be fairly obvious.
As the famous song by Percy Sledge says, “when a man loves a woman, he can keep his mind on nothing else.” A need for nearness is a good indicator, whether that is the push to do all the same things together, the goal to be in the same groups at a social gathering, or just the attempt to be physically closer than usual.
Ladies, a good give-away is the questions a man asks you. Does he ask questions about you?
Does he ask questions about your day? About your interests? About your goals and desires in life? And what’s more, does he remember the answers to those questions? If he remembers the small things about you, especially things you’ve only mentioned once or barely touched on, odds are he’s got a crush. When a guy goes out of his way to invest in your interests, especially when he has no need to, he cares.
Another obvious indicator is flirting. This often comes in the form of teasing. Jokes that are slightly rude, just to get an irritated look from you. Comments about your clothes, just to see you stick your tongue out at him. Messing up your hair, just to get a punch on the shoulder. Or even further, suggestive comments or jokes, hinting at the fact that he thinks you are good-looking.
If he’s teasing you in small, playful ways like this, he probably is interested. Guys, in a modern world, the way you text is a signal to how you’re feeling. When you text a girl about an unnecessary thing, especially if it’s very unimportant, it sends a signal.
When you text her about something that she doesn’t really need to know about, it sends a signal. And a step further, when you text her any of these three things, “good morning”, “how was your day?”, or “sleep well” it sends a strong signal. The way a man texts is a sure way to convey interest and a true gauge of whether a man is interested in you.
Side note: Girls appreciate attention. But it can be overdone. Staring makes a girl instantly
uncomfortable. A small glance is nice, but girls will run from staring. Gentleman, just a tip for life,
don’t stare.
In short, girls, if you are wondering whether you have caught a man’s eye, you can tell by the
way he talks with you, texts with you, or interacts with you in a group setting. If he is going out of
his way to be near you, to remember the things you care about, and to do small things to get
you to smile, more than likely he likes what he sees in you and is trying to convey that fact.
Men, if you want a girl to know that she’s caught your interest, prioritize conversations with her and
pay attention to the things she says. And if you can make her laugh and smile while doing it, you
are headed in the right direction.
How to Get a Guy’s Attention
By James Ashley
One of the scariest parts of a relationship (and the reason a good many never happen) can be the beginning. How do I get that guy/girl to notice me? Sometimes it can seem like too big a task or too big a risk to take but there is good news: You’re overcomplicating it for yourself!
Oftentimes this task can be accomplished with much less work and risk than you think.
So, what can you do to get a guy’s attention? Let’s try and simplify this question down to an easier one to answer: what does a guy ultimately want in a girl? Here I’m going to generalize a bit as we’re all different however “men” really are all the same in some ways.
1. Give him some direction.
Sure, guys may be physically stronger or able to accomplish things but as a general rule most of us are missing something to put that strength or willpower towards, we’re missing direction. That’s a huge part of the significance of a woman in a man’s life: direction.
She’s the reason he slays the dragon, she’s the reason he fights crime, she’s the reason he wears jeans instead of sweatpants. If you can find a way to give a guy purpose, then you’ll instantly stand out from the rest of the girls. It doesn’t have to be anything as dramatic as slaying a dragon either; it can be as simple as “hey Jordan, those pants look really nice”. Now Jordan knows what kind of pants look good on him and he knows what to look for next time he goes shopping. Jordan has more purpose in his life because of you (bonus points since now he’s thinking of you when he shops for pants).
2. Make it easy for him to make the first move.
Traditionally it’s the guy’s job to make the first move however this doesn’t mean the girl has to sit back and wait for something to happen. That move needs to be inspired and you as the girl are that inspiration.
Try your best to make it easy for him to make those first moves. This can be really simple things like saying hi when you see him, making sure you’re in the same circles so he can address you and get to know you better, or acknowledging when he says something, even (especially) when it goes unnoticed by everyone else.
3. Start by being a friend
Do anything you can to make yourself easy to approach even though this might be unintuitive. Your first thought might be to stand back and “look pretty” or throw him sly looks across the room. While this will let him know you’re interested it also makes you very intimidating and difficult to approach. Instead try to get close to him as you would a friend and let him decide if it should go further (of course as time goes on you can drop hints that he has your permission to take it further).
This also gives you a chance to get to know him better before your heart kicks your mind out the window.
If you can make yourself stand out from the petty flirting and teasing by being an approachable young woman with a genuine personality, then he will have no choice but to do the rest and you won’t have risked anything yet! Don’t overthink it; just be around him and be sincere.
